Sunday, May 2, 2010

Stand Inside Your Love

Many people have asked me why I am such a big Pumpkin fan. By Pumpkin I mean Smashing Pumpkins, of course. If you follow me on Twitter, you know that I talk about them a lot. So, I thought I would write a post and try to explain why I love them so much, and by them I mean Billy Corgan and friends, whoever he may be surrounded by, because it changes, and that's ok. I was a teen of the 90's. I was trying to define myself during the grunge/alternative music era and so that particular music speaks to me like no other can. The first song that sparked my love for SP was Today and back then we actually watched videos on MTV, remember that? I mean, what a classic, awesome, weird video that I could relate with. Today ended up being my wedding song as well. Smashing Pumpkins have always been sort of the misfits in the music world, and so that is why I have felt like I could relate to them so well. Despite what people think, (no I was not a cheerleader) I have never felt like I have fit in with one particular group. But, with SP music/Billy's music, and all the love and philosophy behind it all makes sense to me and I feel like I belong somewhere.

The music connects to me, it makes me feel like everything will be ok, it helps me recognize myself when I'm feeling really lost. I feel the beauty and pain in the words. It makes me feel alive. Every time I hear Billy sing I feel strong spiritual connection to him. It's really hard for me to put into words, but it's an amazing feeling, especially when I see him live. Maybe that sounds weird to some of you, but I know other pumpkin fans know what I am talking about, and it's like..ah you too, we understand each other. I appreciate and respect every song, because it is written from his heart and soul and it is real. I grew up with a huge musical influence. My Mom has been a piano/organ teacher my whole life and we always had music in my house. She is a big Beatles fan so I grew up listening to them and I have always had a great appreciation for music. For good music. I love other music, and will have other favorites, but SP will always #1 in my heart. So, I hope this explains a little bit why I post things all the time, or I talk about SP on my videos. I am extremely grateful that Billy has continued to make music, and I look forward to the new songs coming up in Teargarden by Kaleidoscope and other future projects. Love you Billy, love you all the friends of Billy, love you fellow pumpkinheads!

My Favorite Album : Adore

One of my favorite poems from Blinking With Fists :


There is of course the courage of the single flower
Pushing its form thru concrete
If only to be trampled into dust

What is worth speaking
If seeking is death?
Does meaning become

Summoning up the voice
To do the will of the soul
To explore the far reaches of my wonder
I make the choice to speak

Is it so simple
That it's easy to overlook
That living is poetry
And poetry has nothing less

~Billy Corgan

Me and Billy, Vegas 2008


  1. Awesome Post Ally! I feel the same way about SP! And I was so heart broken in 2000 when they broke up. But I am grateful that Billy is back in action! =)

  2. I love how songwriters words can reach out to you and give you some grounding, hope, when all seems lost. I have a couple that speak to me as Billy does to you. So comforting to know there's somewhere to go when you need.

    Great post.


  3. Music has the ability to make us feel like something more. Something better. When you connect with something it can transport you.

    I think Billy Corgan is cool. I like that he is never satisfied with staying still. He is always experimenting with his sound.

  4. Where would we be without our music, girl?
    Leaving you one of my favorite quotes:

    “Music is a moral law. It gives soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination, and charm and gaiety to life and to everything.” ~Plato


  5. The Smashing Pumpkins and I have a long history together, too.
    From the conversation piece that led to new friends at a new school (friends I still hold dear to this day, 17 years later), to nearly losing my virginity to "Geek U.S.A.," to words written in a bathroom stall to release the fury of a relationship gone bad, to mourning the passing of a loved one, to sandy beaches before the sunrise in South Carolina.

    Luna would have been our wedding song, if we had had a wedding song.

    Being a teen of the 90s, you'll probably like my book. Oh, what a shameless plug. It's a love note to the era, a friendly nod in the crowd to the members of my generation. But be warned, my [fictional] bass player can't stand the Pumpkins. Haha. What the hell does HE know.