Monday, September 7, 2009

Obsession sprinkled with OCD and spiked with paranoia

I have many obsessions, it has always been this way. I obsesses and fuss and fidget over small things, big things and everything in between. I am on the verge of having OCD, and maybe I do have OCD with certain things. I don't wash my hands all the time or anything, it might get to that point. I am a perfectionist in many areas. I think about numbers, I am happy when numbers are all even or all odd. Certain phrases or words stick in my head for months. Conversations I've had with people can repeat in my head for years. So, now you know I am little crazy I will tell you my one obsession that has never wavered, my teeth. Yes, I am obsessed with my teeth, and other people's teeth. It is the first I notice about people and it is the thing that have spent the most money on, by far. I never miss a dentist appointment, I floss and brush throughout the day, I've had a few consultations with orthodontists, I've had a few bleaching trays made, I've tried every over the counter bleaching product out there, I've had Invisilign braces, I've had my teeth filed down, I wear retainers on a regular basis, I have my own dentist kit so I can scrape my teeth whenever I feel the need. And, I'm still not frustrating. I have spent my life been very conscience of my teeth, I changed the way I smiled because I didn't want people to see the one tooth that wasn't exactly were it should be. Wow, when will I ever be happy? Maybe I will never be satisfied. When I notice people with crooked teeth and they smile and laugh and they seem as though they could care less about their teeth being perfect, I wonder, why don't they care like me? I know I have problem, and I am trying not to bleach them as much and talk about my "crooked" teeth. I have other obsessions with the my physical appearance, but let's not get my started on that.
"..and I'll pull your crooked'll be perfect just like me." ....Smashing Pumpkins


  1. you write very well, I'll look forward to more.. -this is a bit different, but I do know what you mean

  2. I find it amusing/ironic that one of your biggest influences has some of the worst teeth by American standards. And, frankly, I love his teeth all the more for it. :)

    I understand these things as much as I can, however. I mess with my face obsessively. Even if there isn't anything there I'll convince myself there is and tweeze or wash or put a facial mask on. It really only ends up irritating it, which starts the cycle all over again.

  3. I can so relate here at least with the being self conscious part. I have hated my teeth for years and I'm furious with my parents for not getting me braces as a kid. I looked into braces twice now and the last consult was the most depressing. They could fix my teeth, but my bite is so bad they really need to break my jaw. Ouch! I was too depressed to go on with it. He said he could make my teeth a B+ without the jaw breaking and I'm still considering it, but ... I'm SO old now.

    You have lovely teeth and should be proud to smile. :)

  4. You remind me of Jill Flint, the actress who plays Jill Casey on the USA Network show Royal Pains.

  5. I'm a dentist and you should try not being so obsessed about teeth